The Nutmeg kid gave Heathcliff's ass to a loan officer in exchange for enough money to buy an ice cream cone, or perhaps a WHAMMO BAR.

That's one smart birdcage.

If you're a mouse and want to make it out of that mouse chick's house alive, you'd better prepare for some cat-on-mouse anal sex.

Heathcliff is being chased by a pack of dogs. Cornered and probably about to die, he starts masturbating, which, somehow, summons a genie. The genie proceeds to drag the dogs out into open space for an ass whipping, before letting them free fall to Earth. Iggy Nutmeg thinks that it's bad breath.

Heathcliff shits humans.

I guess there's something unfair about being giant, mutated rats in a household where the car is apt to dress up in mouse ears and frolic through the kitchen to get his mice pals some cheese.

Heathcliff keeps giant, exotic mice as pets, but Mr. Nutmeg found out and saw the bill. He wasn't outraged that his cat invited mice to stay in his home, but because the shipping cost was so high and Heathcliff had the audacity to use Mr. Nutmeg's card.

The only possible solution to this problem: Hire somebody to ship them back.

Heathcliff gets more pussy than Mr. Nutmeg, who can only snarkily comment as Heathcliff flashes his awful teeth for his army of clones.

Heathcliff and the Nutmeg kid play a game of catch, using Mr. Peanut as the ball. Thusly, it is discovered that young Nutmeg has peanut allergies that result in his mouth disappearing and his hand swelling up.

Heathcliff cries sperm-y tears.

A dance instructor and his class had some very good weed.

Heathcliff has designs on killing and eating a poor man's Mickey Mouse.

Heathcliff can no longer stand to see what happens between Mr. Nutmeg and his impressionable young grandson in the bathtub.

Heathcliff tore off Mrs. Nutmeg's jaw for questioning his ability to run the Yakuza.

In a Heathcliff so epic that one comic is receiving two frames, it becomes apparent that Peter Ghallager is a proponent of hot dog man on cat bestiality. Hot, steamy interspecies erotica.

Don't let the multiple counts of attempted murder fool you: Heathcliff is a pretty cool guy.

He's also about to eat that bird. Out of boredom, too.

Mr. Nutmeg's penis can talk.

Heathcliff buried an umpire under home plate.

A blind man unwittingly packed Heathcliff into a bag of crumbs. He has cleverly made a disguise out of a majority of said crumbs while lying in wait. The blind man, fond of talking birds, throws Heathcliff out as food, but the birds, having enough brain power to speak, aren't fooled, because Heathcliff is a floating, whistling cat. No amount of bread can mask that.

A pair of three-legged abominations observe the folly of Heathcliff's bonsai tree. Heathcliff, for his part, fell asleep standing up after placing the tiny cheese wedges in the leafs in the hopes of currying favor with the elder abomination. He failed.

Steroids allow you to spin a car on your finger like a basketball, especially those found in common medication.

A: Clowns are supposed to be funny, and Heathcliff isn't.

(this comic would have benefited if "ACME LOONAVERSITY" were in block letters instead of "CLOWN COLLEGE")

Heathcliff has gone blind and deaf.

Instead of getting the ball out of the easy sand trap, Heathcliff ruins a club. This makes zero sense, as he's on his second stroke of what's either a par 2 or a par 4 depending on what Gallagher is going for.

Heathcliff is strangling the refrigerator repair man for thwarting his nefarious plot to eat everything inside once it spoiled.

Birds can't fly up unless they're heading south for the winter.

That's what she said.

Heathcliff called Spike out for wearing a pearl necklace, but, as it turns out, they're both pussies.

Heathcliff takes place in the tropics, which "explains" why everything is so disproportionate all the time.