Heathcliff wanted chicken. Heathcliff wanted liver. Meow Mix, Meow Mix, didn't deliver.

Some worms aren't free range.

According to the man-thing with the most glorious hair ever, Heathcliff is a natural. At what? Who knows.

Heathcliff is a cat.

Four Things About the Beach:

1. Water is sand.

2. Fishing lines don't snap taught when a fish jumps out of the water...they snap into a 90 degree angle.

3. Towels are sand.

4. Female cats, who usually prance around nude, are huge prudes at the beach, opting to don bikinis instead.

One Thing About Sprinklers:

1. They're great bukkake tools.

Heathcliff usually yawns to remain inconspicuous before the eyes of Mr. Nutmeg. Once garbage oxymoron breath knocks him out, H-Cliff has his way with the wife, hence the terror in her eyes.

Mrs. Nutmeg hires a Mexican to rescue Heathcliff from the horrors of sex.