Heathcliff is now larger than most suburban outdoor garbage cans.

Don't eat at Diner.

Rich Uncle Pennybags has moved up in the world: From department store Santa to circuit court judge in a little more than a year. Hope and Change have come at last to Heathclifflandia.

I am digging the hell out of these colored strips. Everybody has such poor taste in clothes. Some members of the jury look like Pigpen's parents. Heathcliff looks super stoned. Old Glory looks like a dreamcatcher. The whole thing is just perfect.

Now that we're wasting color on the daily strips, it's become clear as to how hilariously awful Iggy Nutmeg's shoes are. It also looks 100% more like Mrs. Nutmeg is a double amputee. Strip lolsiness has just increased tenfold.

The good folks at Storage only climate control ridiculous things like penalty boxes, and that's only during the off-season for un-organized pond hockey. They could have gotten a better deal at Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage.

And yet, he's still so fucking fat.

Enough Heathcliff to choke a horse...

Why haven't I been doing this? Look at how bleeding awful most of the strips have been. I've had two weeks, and I still couldn't come up with good jokes.

11/1/08
Gang warfare erupts in the Nutmeg household as the mutant mice living in the giant, obvious hole in the wall grow tired of their daily cheese tribute and demand wine, women, and High Definition cable service. The pumpkin seeds flew as negotiations broke down between the mice and Heathcliff, the ensuing shootout being strong enough to erase legs. More on this news at '11.

11/2/08
Mr. Nutmeg has named his hose "Democrats and Republicans." Its frothy spray is that cold stream of justice, with a bit of shock 'n awe thrown in for good measure.

11/3/08
While Kook has a strong handshake, most people aren't much for his mudslinging. Heathcliff finds a way to one up Kook (a clever pun if ever their was one) by flipping the crowd behind him the bird.

11/4/08
Is that Rosie the Robot's head in the parking lot? Yeah, that's all I got.

11/5/08
The firefighter is shocked that a cat as fat as Heathcliff wound up in a tree. He's also probably shocked that Mrs. Nutmeg isn't locked away in the looney bin.

11/6/08
Home worming is destroying the bait business.

11/7/08
You can't make a six-foot hero with a giant Swedish Fish.

11/8/08
Probably the best Heathcliff ever.

11/9/08
This will likely be #2.

11/10/08
Waterless toilets make Heathcliff thirsty. If you haven't started crying at this point, you're inhuman.

11/11/08
Heathcliff and the Pussy Cat's first show didn't go as well as expected, as local comedian Garfield has had the late night fence show thing in the bag for almost 30 years.

11/12/08
Heathcliff was found not-guilty, yet his family still treats him like a criminal.