Sunday, October 12, 2008

That's not how leaf blowers, reverse whistles, or Spenser's Gifts sized dildos work. First, they're built to blow leaves away (or they're built for her pleasure). Blowing a bowl of food up just isn't possible, dry or not. Second, who blows leaves while they're still falling? Third, isn't the leaf blower just a futile gesture anyhow? Like, it's just a casual "Fuck you" to nature. The leaves aren't going to disappear because you've blown them around a bit - now they're just at the fence line. So what?

"Yeah, take that Mother Nature, you fucker! You think you can best me with your Fall? Huh? Well I just burned a gallon of gas, just to simulate a strong, deafening wind!"

I bet it's 6 AM, and Marcy next door is talking Peppermint Patty away from the shotgun.

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