Monday, July 14, 2008


Heathcliff looks at his T-shirt with a crazy amount of superstition, not unlike a monkey at a monolith. The shirt magically grows the letter B and teaches the cat how to iron and then sprint like a human so that he could stand in line with a few other cats with similar magic T-shirts, only theirs have the letter O on them. They then let off some steam, soundless though hyperintellegent. Hmm. "B-O-O-O." BOOO. Booo. Oh! They're booing the guy, because, get it, CATS HATE DOGS! And Iggy owns a cat, SO HE HATES DOGS, TOO! And Iggy is a fucking asshole for reminding his Cat to stand at his neighbor's driveway, disturbing the peace and devaluing his property with all his orange fur and fat. And the Nutmegs wonder why they have a new neighbor every day.

In other news, William Nickel has an AMAZING cat.


Heathcliff is chewing the gum that came in 1988 Topps Trading Cards, so not only do they taste like steroids, there's a hint of Wade Boggs, cardboard, plant fumes, and the sweat of Mexicans. Steroids were not an issue in 1988 though, so all that sweet anabolic flavor is perfectly legal.

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