Sunday, November 4, 2007

Honestly, I don't know what the most offensive thing about my first Sunday With Heathcliff is. I suppose I should cover them in order.

1. A professional artist can't draw a straight edged box. I'm assuming he used a ruler and still cocked it up.

2. Heathcliff's fat owner screams "EEK! MICE~!" like she's seeing the four horsemen of apocalypse riding for her, then walks away as calmly as nothing happened at all. Seriously, look. She might even be dancing for all the blank backgrounds and puffs of dust. Matter of fact, I do think she's dancing, and much like Fred Astaire, she's figured out that dancing makes you float.

3. The mice are picking up ONE LEAF AT A TIME! What is this, a lawn service for ants?!?

4. The dude with the broom for a mustache is asserting that having a rat problem is better than picking up a fucking rake (or using his 'stache) to do the job his damn self. Don't they have a kid? That's like free fucking labor, instead of having neighbors look at you like you live in some section 8 crackhouse.

5. Why is Heathcliff aping Sonic the Hedgehog? Did he just defeat Dr. Robotnik? No. He just had a bunch of rats pick up one leaf at a time.

6. Kitty Korner: ...who gives their cat a glass to drink from? Why is "Sandy" in quotations, when it's the cat's fucking name? Why do I feel the urge to carpet bomb Escondido CA?

I would have preferred a DST pun. I think I'll go off and weep now.

No comments: