Heathcliff bought a set of clubs to hit the links over the summer, but sadly for him, every course in the tri-state area is extremely discriminatory against cats! Enraged, Heathcliff starts a fire in front of his owners and a new neighbor and chucks the clubs into the fire! Sadly, this will not work: no fireplace fire will get hot enough to melt that shit.

I'd rather have an unfunny, unexplainable strip than Monday's cockbaggery.